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This week I started a two-week long training camp in Georgia to prepare me and my team for our ministry in Nicaragua and Costa Rica. In just the two full days I’ve had here, there’s already been such abandonment, growth, pain, discomfort but most importantly a new dependency on Jesus and His word that I haven’t ever experienced before. 

In one of the sermons we have been given, we discussed Matthew 6:25-34 and it was very convicting. I worry about a lot of things a lot of the time. I worry I will never learn how to dress, I worry I will never learn how to French braid my own hair, I wont know what to do with my life, I worry people don’t like me, I worry I’m behind, I worry about the future of myself and loved ones. I am often consumed and debilitated by these anxious thoughts but God is slowly using this experience to break down so many of the lies that I have believed my whole life. 

Training camp has removed so many distractions and comforts that I have previously been dependent on for joy (like my phone, bed, shower, normal toilet, food, privacy, and especially vaping). When I am stripped of all of this and feel so naked, I was redirected to see His kingdom. This is a different dependence on the Lord than what I previously had because He is truly all I have and more than enough to fulfill my heart and needs. Now, I have began to notice, I don’t worry about what clothes I will wear, if they’re dirty or clean, what meals we will eat, if it will keep me full, when I can fill up my bucket for a shower, if it will rain on my drying clothes on the clothesline and so many other unknowns. We fellowship beautifully in bucket showers and washing our clothes in soapy buckets. I imagine Heaven may be this way. This is my little slice of the Kingdom, I will work hard to carry it with me to Central America and when I return home. This is an extremely uncomfortable and hard time but a sweet, sweet season of life. He remains good yesterday, today and tomorrow. 

 

P.S. I decided to really step out in my faith and quit a 4.5 year long addiction to vaping, cold-turkey for this trip. And wow… I have tried to quit on my own before and failed miserably but He shows up in so many miraculous ways!! I thought i would be enslaved by this addiction for my lifetime, but I was putting the Creator of the Universe into a limited box. He has carried me through the nasty stages of quitting nicotine with His grace and love. It has been hard but He alone made it possible. 

Thank y’all for the support and for listening to me!

 

 

7 responses to “Do not be anxious”

  1. Sylvie!!! I am soooo proud of you. I am super excited that I get to follow your blog and read all the awesome things that you’ll be doing and reading how Jesus is moving in your life. I continue to pray for you every step of the way. Miss you.

  2. Sylvie, I am so blessed to know you and to follow this spiritual journey with you. I’m always so moved to tears when one of my “kiddos” follows Jesus and learns early in life that He is the way the truth and the life! Love you sweet girl! ????????

  3. I was thrilled to see this update post tonight. I’ve been praying for you and I’m so glad to hear how God is showing Himself mighty to you. I’m so very proud of you for being authentic and free in your relationship with Jesus. He loves honesty and humility and he will give grace you. ??

  4. Sweet Sylvie. I was so happy to open my email this morning and see your update!! I am so proud of you You are getting a glimpse of the beauty when God is being glorified in you. You are seeing Him and showing Him as He truly is: Good, Loving, Provider, Safety, Sovereign, Able, Powerful, Redeeming! I am praying that He continue this work that He has begun in you. When you doubt yourself, think on HIM! I pray you experience His sweet mercy new every morning. Love you!

  5. Sylvie- Your transparency is courageous-I love hearing how your testimony of God’s greatness is building and you are trusting HIM for every detail. You make me proud! Phil 4:13

  6. Sylvie, I am currently reading this about to go to my nutrition class today, and your obvious love for the Lord is bringing a smile to my face. You have reminded me about how small and insignificant some of the problems I am facing right now are. I love you and am so proud of you for doing this. I pray that you will continue your growth, and you will see the Lord working in your life like never before. You are truly a beast, Sylvie!!! Miss you

  7. SYLVIE GIRL!!! I could not be more proud of you. The way the Lord is already and is going to work through you is amazing. The lessons you have already learned are going to last a lifetime. This message is so encouraging and was a great way to start my morning today. The Lord is so faithful and will always have you in the plan of His hand. I love you and I am praying for you as y’all get ready to leave from Georgia that the Lord will continue to provide a sense of comfort, peace, and contentment. So excited to see what is to come in the next couple of weeks!